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| The dirty door before.... |
We've had a lot going on lately, but all good and exciting things. The first big news most people know about is that we are moving--where, I have no idea. When, who knows! But our goal is by spring, summer at latest. We had a realtor come out to look at the house, and even though he was polite, he let us know that the house really needs a lot of fixing up. I've always known this, but looking at it through someone else's eyes was a reality check. So we put together a plan that we'll get this house all spruced up with fresh paint and new carpet and hopefully get the house on the market by winter or spring. Most likely spring, which is fine, because when we move, we want to bring the swing set with us. The kids love it, and we spent a lot of money paying for it! Not to mention Dennis put a lot of work into it when he made it.
We decided we won't start any major fix-ups until after Thanksgiving, but I have been slowly been making my way around the house, re-painting doors and trim and getting rid of scuff marks, dirt and crayon/marker drawings.
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| The newly painted door "after"! Other things that have been going on is that Luke has started gymnastics. He Loves It. He loves it!! You have no idea how great it feels as a parent to finally find something that your kid loves--a kid that is very hard to please because he has low self-esteem and doesn't want to try new things because he doesn't want to fail at it. Yes, I know that sounds like a pity party I'm throwing for Luke, but it's just the truth. His self-esteem is really low. But, he loves gymnastics, and bonus--he's pretty good at it!! True, he can't do a cartwheel yet (though he is convinced that yesterday he actually did one but what he actually did was a handstand and belly flop), but he is really good at anything with upper-body strength which is basically 95% of what gymnastics is. He mastered the mount to get on the "horse" yesterday, and now they are teaching him to start to swing his legs back and forth. It's so exciting to see him master these little steps that will eventually lead him to this:  |
The one thing that makes me sad is watching Lucy through all this. She had been the one to start gymnastics, and she loved it. She never passed the Beginners class because she didn't master the last two skills (they have to master 5 skills before passing to the next level) and we told her that she couldn't do gymnastics anymore because it was Luke's turn and we couldn't afford to have them both do it. We did tell her that she could go back in the winter session though. Until we found out how good this is for Luke, that is. Gymnastics has been great for his self-esteem, great for coordination, following directions and more important, his sensory issues. Gymnastics has really been good for him and he needs it more than Lucy does.
Not only does Lucy not get to do gymnastics now, she also has to go to Luke's class to watch it. Oh, it's like a little knife in the heart to watch her watch Luke through the window! She is forced to watch him because her catechism class is on the same day that Luke's gymnastics class is, plus, it's just down the road from the church. So while Luke is doing gymnastics, I leave to get pick up Lucy and we stay the last 20 minutes to watch Luke. It doesn't make sense to bring her home first as it would be a waste of gas and I would be late picking up Luke. So, yes, she is forced to watch Luke. It is so sad for both of us, and I guess I'm feeling it all with a mother's heart.
Before we realized that financially, we wouldn't be able to afford both Lucy and Luke's gymnastics, I had been telling Lucy to keep practicing her cartwheels and handstands so she wouldn't forget how to do them and be able to pass her Beginners class. So while Luke is doing his gymnastics, there is Lucy off in the corner doing handstands and cartwheels.
I had to tell her last night we couldn't give this to her as a Christmas present like we had thought and her eyes filled up with tears.
Ok, I'm going to rant a little here.
I know that kids have to learn disappointment, and I know that there are "real" problems in the world going on right now; that there are kids who are starving, kids who have suffered in the typhoon that hit. I know that. And yes, in the grand scheme of things, my kids are pretty darn lucky. No, blessed. We have a lot and the things we don't have, we can do without.
But in this little town of Chaska where nothing much happens, where we deal with the every day ups and downs, it's hard to keep overlooking Lucy, who is sandwiched between two special-ed brothers with sensory issues. Who, in Lucy's eyes, gets to get out of school early so that they can "play" and do fun things in therapy, who need special help with homework, who get special one-on-one time at bedtime with stories in order to help the boys very low confidence level, who have special help from para's in school whenever they need it, who didn't get a FISH award yet the boys did for accomplishing something very little, and who is always depended heavily upon because she is the mature one, she is the calm one, the peace-maker, the dependable one. She is the one we tend to use a lot to "get the job done" or to defend her brothers at school, or to walk away from kids who won't let her brothers play with them. We ask so much from her. We can expect her to deliver and maybe that's not fair of us.
And so it was with a lump in my throat that I had to ask Lucy to give yet another sacrifice; to give up gymnastics so that her brother could go--because he needs it. It is always the excuse and reason we give her: "They need it more than you do." And while it's true, it seems so unfair.
She didn't kick or scream, she just looked so sad and said okay. She is the peace-maker.
Okay, so I've gotten carried away with my rant and now I'm sitting here bawling as I type all this. The good news is that I talked to Grandma about this: I needed a woman to talk to--not that Dennis doesn't totally understand, but he sees only the financial end of things. And he's right-we can't afford this for the both of them. But Grandma likes to give events and outings for Christmas presents rather than toys anyway, so I asked if she would be willing to help me pay for Lucy to get one session for her--whatever she is willing to give--just so that Lucy can pass that one class. Lucy is an over-achiever and it really bothered her that she didn't pass.
She seemed to really feel for Lucy and said she would be happy to help. Thank goodness for Grandma. Lucy won't be able to go all year long, but at least for this one session. And maybe, in the summer we'll have Luke take a break and give Lucy a chance to go.
Lucy is going to be so happy. I can't wait until Christmas.
