Saturday, September 29, 2012

Why I won't play with a Oija Board

I'm surprised at how many people don't realize the dangers of playing with a Oija Board. It channels evil; and yet they know this--to a point, I will admit. But because it's a "game", it comes off as harmless fun, like a good horror movie (are there any good horror movies??) or harmless evil (oxymoron).

Thankfully, most of us understood how dangerous it is to play with a Oija Board. I learned of this through listening to kids at school excitedly tell each other of the things that would happen as they played with it, how the piece would move across the board without them pushing it. That was enough for me to know that something about this game was not "normal".

I just read a great post from The Conversion Diary on her experience as a young teen with a Oija Board. I've reprinted it, giving credit back to her (and asking for her permission) because I think this is so worth hearing.

And now, The Conversion Diary's creepy Oija Board story.....with a good lesson at the end.

Right before the New Year during my sophomore year of high school, my best friend and I got out her old Ouija board. As she smoothed away the dust with the palm of her hand and placed the board on the floor in front of us, she recounted to me with great emphasis a series rules I was supposed to follow, like saying “break” before you take your hands off the planchette. There would be something real going on here, she insisted, and so it was important to approach this activity with respect.
I prided myself on being a pure atheist materialist — I never knocked on wood, avoided opening umbrellas in houses, threw salt over my shoulder, or engaged in any other superstitious activities “just in case” — and so this was an opportunity for me to demonstrate my strict adherence to my belief system. No warnings about malevolent spirits could scare me! Confident that this would secure my place as the most rational 16-year-old in the universe, I demonstrated my amazing non-superstitiousness making a big joke out of the whole thing. To my friend’s great concern, I taunted the supposed spirits, denounced the entire activity as dumb, and went out of my way not to observe the little formalities like saying “break” before we stopped.
When we first placed our hands on the planchette, I was startled when it moved without any effort on my part. I quickly shrugged it off, assuming its slide across the board was due either to the actions of my friend, or our collective subconscious desires to have something interesting happen.
Late into the night, probably about half an hour after midnight, more strange things were occurring which my friend attributed to contact with spirits. I started to make a sneering comment toward this supposed otherworldly being, but I was interrupted when the silence of the house was shattered by the loud ringing of the phone in the next room. We both jumped, and my heart beat so rapidly I immediately felt dizzy. Who on earth would be calling at this hour?
We dashed into the other room, a seldom-used home office, and my friend picked up the phone. She stopped one syllable into the word “hello,” paused, and hung up. It was just a dial tone. I picked up the phone and turned it around to switch off the ringer. I almost dropped it back down on the desk when I saw that the ringer was already turned off.
A few weeks later, we decided to try the thing out again, so my friend brought it over to my house. We never got around to playing with it, and I assumed that she took it back to her place. Then, one night around three o’clock in the morning, I awoke from a deep sleep to hear a violent thrashing sound to the right of my bed. I figured it was the cat “fighting” with one of my stuffed animals, and was annoyed since it sounded like he was completely destroying it. I clicked on a lamp and threw myself across the bed to shoo him away…but saw only a motionless pile of stuffed animals and decorative pillows on the floor. My skin prickled with cold sweat when I caught sight of something out of the corner of my eye: my cat, sound asleep on the foot of my bed. With my hand shaking, I slowly tossed each item in the pile by my bed out of the way.

On the floor underneath it lay the Ouija board.

The rest of that year was awful. I was involved in multiple car accidents and some other bad stuff, but the worst of it was that I was mired in a strange type of depression. I’d experienced bouts of depression before and since then, but this one was different. It was an inability to be fully happy, yes, but there was something darker. It was a constant sense of doom, a fear that infected me at a molecular level — though fear of what, I didn’t know. It also came with a virulent hateful streak, one that left me hissing out the nastiest responses (in my mind, if not always spoken) in response to the oddest, most insignificant provocations. It wasn’t as if I was an unhappy version of myself; it was as if my self had been tied up and locked in a basement somewhere, and my body was an abandoned haunted house.
For years I doggedly maintained that there was nothing to the whole Ouija board thing. Even when I first came to believe in God, I still rolled my eyes at the idea that there could be anything dangerous about playing with a cardboard toy that my friend’s mom bought at Target. But then I actually started reading the Bible, and I saw how frequently even the New Testament talks about evil spirits and their powers. I looked at world history and began to see the work of an intelligent evil force, its presence so strong that I wondered how I could have ever overlooked it. I learned more about the reality of good and bad supernatural forces, and the importance of knowing how to distinguish one from the other. And when I thought back on my experience with the Ouija board, I saw that though the “tools” we’d used may have come in the form of a $20 board game, I had participated in an event whose aim was to summon spirits indiscriminately — it didn’t matter whether they were good or evil (or, in my mind at the time, whether they existed at all); the goal was our own amusement. And when I looked back on my experiences in the months following those Ouija board games, I realized that they had all the signs of severe spiritual attack.
In his book Jesus-Shock, Dr. Peter Kreeft talks about how we are “self-centered experience addicts.” When discussing the issue of spiritual dry spells or lack of emotional experiences during prayer, he writes:
We are so addicted to our own positive experiences of joy and happiness that if we experienced Christ more joyfully than we do, we would almost inevitably come to love our experience of Christ more than Christ Himself. We would come to worship our experience, that is, ourselves.
Here he is talking about the dangers of worshiping positive sensations that come from contact with God instead of God himself, but I think the flipside is true also: we can end up accidentally cooperating with evil when we approach the spiritual realm with our own experiences as our first priorities.
I think that the reason that dabbling in the occult has had an increased appeal in recent decades is simply because people are bored, and yearn for interesting distractions. The Holy Spirit speaks in a still, small voice, and God doesn’t make cool stuff happen on command like a parlor magician. You can probably gather more thrill-a-minute stories while dabbling in the occult than you could while carrying your cross behind Christ. As we say in our baptismal promises, evil has a certain hollow “glamor” to it that a life faithful to God does not.
Lately I’ve been in yet another of my many spiritual dry spells, and I sometimes find it frustrating that I haven’t had any amazing experiences during prayer like I have in the past. But remembering my experience from high school serves as a warning not to fixate so much on whether I am personally entertained in my prayer life. Not that I’d go all the way to breaking out a Ouija board and channeling spirits if my reading of the Gospels continues to be dry, but I am reminded that the quest for spiritual glamor always leads down a dangerous path.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Random Things

Max is not doing well at school at all. I don't want to be negative, but I'm pretty disappointed lately how things are going. We worked really hard on his spelling test all last week and he had it down--at home we were doing spelling games, and writing the words out 3 times each and he had them all right. But the next day when he took the test, he got all but one wrong. I was so disappointed. Not in him, but just disappointed that school doesn't seem to be going well.

Every paper he brings home is filled with red pen marks. His geography test he got 4/15. I was thinking, why do teachers have to go and put numbers on the papers like that? I remember getting my grade and it would always be a big--LARGE--"D" in red ink. It was so embarrassing.

I got his IEP form today. I was ready to sign with all the goals except for one. It was in the social category saying how when Max is stuck, he will just sit at his desk and wait for someone to notice he needs help. Or that he doesn't initiate any conversation. One paragraph in particular was, "Max spends much time observing others. Most of the time he has a worried and confused look on his face." This pains my heart, and anger comes in. I don't know why I get angry, but it comes and I feel like taking it out on the teachers. I know its' not their fault; it's really no ones fault. I haven't really figured out the angry part yet, but its there.

Anyway, the goal is: "Max will initiate conversation with peers, by responding to their questions and greeting them. Max will indicate when he needs help" and so on. Well, this all sounds great, but there was no plan as to how to get him to do this. His kindergarten teachers had the same goal but were unable to get Max to do these things on his own. This is why I didn't sign the papers. I would like a realistic goal first. I'm a thorn in these teachers side, I know.

It's only been a month, but I'm watching Max slowly slide backwards, both socially and academically. His teacher modified his spelling list again--before she cut down the spelling list from 15 words to only 5, and this was only for Max. Now she's keeping the same 5 but made the words simpler. They're about a first grade level: pig, big, lot, ect. I felt insulted for Max. I thought, "He can do better than this!" I guess I understand they're just trying to get a baseline for Max to start with, and I'm sure they'll increase the difficulty from there. It's just so hard to watch him sink like this. I need patience! This is going to be the longest year ever!!

On other more positive news, today was pajama day at school. Even Max wore pajamas. I bought him new pajamas because he wanted to wear the one piece pajamas with feet on them, and I think most kids his age are done wearing those. So I bought him some news ones, which he needed anyway. The kids had fun.

I think I finally figured out why I've been having weak spells lately. They come on rather suddenly and force me to lie down, wherever I happen to be. They usually last an hour, with my heart at a somewhat fast pace. The answer is so simple and yet it never occurred to me that this could be it--coffee! The reason why it never occurred to me that it could be caffeine is because caffeine has never bothered me before, even when I was pregnant and tired and out of breath all the time anyway. I guess people can develop a sensitivity to it though.

Anyway, it only occurred to me because one day, as I was laying in bed during another weak spell, I was thinking to myself, "How ironic it is that I feel so out of breath and tired and yet I just had some coffee to give me energy." And then I thought, "Hmmmm..."

So I gave up coffee for a day, felt a little sluggish, but had no weak spells. The next day, I had coffee and had a weak spell. The next day (today) I had coffee but this time, decaf, and I had no weak spell. So problem solved, I think. I'm just sad that my little pick-me-up no longer works.

I'm still going to the doctor though to have things with my heart checked, simply because it's that time of year when I'm supposed to go in. I still get tired more easily than I would like but I'm relieved that the weak spells are gone. I admit, I was a little worried at first. Heart attacks can make you paranoid, no matter how many years go by it seems.

Well, I guess that's it. Keep Max in your prayers, he really could use them!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Toy Sale

I've noticed that this blog's font is hard to read, so I'm trying a new font type with bold. Hopefully it will make a difference.

Anyway, yesterday the kids had a toy sale. Mind you, this was a spontaneous toy sale that they put together themselves, so we I was not expecting much from it. The kids, on the other hand, were sure they were going to make a lot of money.


 So we set up a little table and chairs and put out a sign that said "Toys for Sale! $1 each or your best offer!" 


Lucy proved herself to be a very serious business woman. :-) She stayed out there for 3 hours (with a short break to go to the bank against her will). 


And Luke proved himself to be a good salesman.  He had an idea to put a toys for sale sign on his bike and rode up and down on the street shouting, "Toys for Sale! Toys for sale!" Yes, I'm sure he drove the neighbors crazy.

He also stayed outside for 3 hours. 


Max decided he didn't want to join in. Smart guy!

Well, during the 3 hours, two nice girls bought two toys from them, and then at the end of 3 hours, Lucy's friend Grace, came and bought two toys from them. One of them being a toy microphone that she had given to Lucy. So basically, she bought her own microphone back.

The kids were extremely proud of the $4 that they made, and later, we went to the dollar bin where they each picked out yet another $1 toy. 

I was doubtful that they would get any sales at all, but it wasn't bad considering that they made something out of nothing!


 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

So long, Mouse #3

I am so sick of the mouse problem. I suppose compared to other people, we really dont' have it that bad, since this is only mouse #3. It's just that we don't know if this is the end of the mice problem, or if there are more lurking about.

Mouse #1 was captured and by the time we found the trap closed (it's one of those traps that has a trap door and you don't have to see the mouse, thank goodness), it was well into the day. When Dennis proudly held it up to show me the caught mouse, I freaked out and ran.

Mouse #2, which I didn't blog about because I was too grossed out, was found floating in our set tub. Dennis thinks that it actually died in the vacuum (he thinks it crawled up through the vacuum hose) because he was emptying out the vacuum into the set tub and was rinsing it out, when he discovered the mouse floating in the set tub. When he told me this, I didn't go near the set tub for weeks. I also didn't vacuum for weeks. The new name for the vacuum is "the mouse coffin".

And now Mouse #3, the poor hungry thing, who had to come out looking for food while we were still up and active in the house, was discovered by me when I came into the kitchen to take out my clay beads from the oven. I saw a dark blur race back between the pantry and the dishwasher. I managed to not scream (just gasped) and told Dennis that there was yet another mouse in the house.

He didn't believe me, because he had a hard time believing that a mouse would dare to come out when we were just in the other room. But he set a trap anyway, and as we sat on the couch watching TV, I was half-considering going into my room as I was sure that if the mouse had come out once while we were still awake, then it would surely come out again. But instead I stayed in the living room with Dennis. And then suddenly I heard the sound of the trap door slam shut, and I made some half-stifled screams and raced down the hall, breaking a strict rule of silence while the kids are sleeping and slammed the door shut. All I could remember was Dennis's face while I was making the muffled scream sounds; he was looking at me confused and incredulous, and I could tell he didn't hear the trap door shut. Well, he would figure it out eventually. I sure wasn't going to go back and explain it to him.

Sure enough, I eventually heard the front door open and shut and I knew Dennis was taking the poor dead mouse out to the garbage. I admit, I really shoudn't react so strongly to mice getting killed, but it bothers me to no end to know that a living thing, even if it's a rodent, has gotten killed. I just wish there was a better way to get rid of mice. All I could hear over and over in my head was that trap door slamming shut and I would start to freak out all over again. I would never make it in the country.

And then the bedroom door opened, and I thought it was Dennis coming to tell me that the dirty deed was done, but instead it was Max. He had heard the commotion and had guessed what happened. I'll never forget the compassion that Max showed me; he stood in the center of the room, with a nervous smile on his face, rocking back and forth (also a nervous or agitated gesture that he shows) and he made no eye contact with me. It was as though seeing me so upset was worrying him to the point where he couldn't look at me. But he didn't let that stop him and he said, "It's okay. The mouse is gone now. Daddy took the trap out." And he stood there continuing to rock back and forth, making no eye contact, saying over and over, "It's okay, it's okay." I realized that I had scared him and told him to come sit by me and I hugged him and he patted my back still trying to comfort me. I asked him if I scared him and he said, "Yes, a little, because I heard you scream. I thought something terrible must have happened, but then I  saw that it was just a mouse got killed."

Well, to me, that was terrible enough, but it helped me put things into perspective. Still, I get shivers.

When we were sending Max back to bed, he turned around and said, "Some day Mama, when we die, you'll cry over us more than you do over a mouse." Kids say the strangest things sometimes.

I don't know what it is about mice and insects lately. It seems that they're all coming into the house. The other night I was up until 11:30 at night killing mosquitoes. I finally gave up when I killed 30. I was too tired to do anymore.

Anyway, Max is right I know. I shouldn't allow myself to get so upset over a mouse. It's just part of living in a house. I do so much better with insects though. I don't mind killing those.

Tonight Dennis called me a Mouseketeer. I've got news for Mr.Funny Guy though. I'm not emptying the garbage until garbage day.

Did you know that St.Martin de Porres used to talk to the animals? His monastery had a mouse problem and he was ordered to put rat poison out because the rats were eating all their bread. He put out the poison but then when he saw one of the rats, he talked to them and told them to not come back again. From there on, the mice/rats didn't bother the monastery. You see? St.Martin didn't like killing mice either. 

St.Martin de Porres, pray for us, and talk to our mice!




Friday, September 14, 2012

Seven Quick Takes

Princess and the Pee


1.
There's enough tidbit news that I'm going to actually do a Quick Take.
We potty trained Anna last week and for real, it only took two days. I didn't want to jinx it and celebrate too early, but all last week and all this week, she has been happily using the potty on her own, both pee-pee and poo-poo. Day 1 she did 2 potties and Day 2 she actually did a poop on her own, with no one watching her to make she didn't go in her pants. I was very impressed!

Earlier in the week, the glory of potty training was wearing off and she was getting tired of the "game", so we quick pulled out our tricks and rewarded her for using the potty faithfully by buying her some Dora underwear. This renewed her interest in going potty and thankfully, I think she's done with wanting to wear diapers. She wears them for naps and bedtimes but yanks them off and sits on the pot first thing in the morning without being told.
Success!

2. 

Today is Grandparents Day at the kids school. Mom called and said that both Lucy, Luke and Max were excited to see her, but out of all the kids, it was Luke who was the happiest! He kept showing off Grandma, telling everyone, "This is my Grandma!"

3.
 By the way, Mom got in a little fender-bender today. This is what she called it, anyway. To me it sounded more like a crash on the highway, but the point is that she's fine. The Homecoming King rear-ended her from behind. He was all shaken up and shook his head at Mom saying, "This is not a good day!" He was on his way to school and they were supposed to have a pep-fest celebrating the King and Queen for Homecoming so he was in a hurry. Mom calmed him down and comforted him. Let me tell you, he's lucky he bumped into her! Most people would have given the Homecoming King a few words. But all kidding aside, I'm glad no one was hurt and I'm glad for virtues of charity. Hopefully he will pay it forward if anyone rear ends him.
(By the way, Mom had a broken bumper and a bit of whip-lash but is fine otherwise. By broken bumper, I mean the car, haha.)

4.
For anyone who is interested, Luke is still doing fine! I'm still surprised at the concern of people (though grateful too), but then I guess when I envision Luke covered in gasoline, I guess I get it.

5. 

With the kids in school, Anna gets a little bored. All of a sudden, I go back about 6 years to having a life of only 2 kids. We go on a lot of walks and Anna enjoys being the only kid, but I can't always entertain her. Today I did a sensory diet game from Max's therapy that we are supposed to use when the kids are over-stimulated (but we always forget to do it.) It's great for those with sensory issues, but it works for any kid just as a game: 





You fill a bowl of water with a little bit of soap and give the kid a straw and they blow bubbles. That's it. It's great for the two year old who hasn't mastered blowing through a bubble wand yet, and it's great for the hyper-active kid who is having trouble calming down, as this exercise involves deep breathing and blowing forcefully. Spitting is not supposed to be included. ( For those of you who read by email, you need to click over to the blog to watch the video.)


6.

I just can't help it. I can't stop watching this video. It's just to funny.
Watch it--Sheep that screams like a human. Again, if you want to watch the video, you have to click over to the blog to watch it:






kllfkfl;gkf;gfdkl;gfdglf;dkfgld;kflg


7.

On a serious note (I know, these Quick Takes are all over the place!) all the kids are doing extremely well in school. I'm really especially happy that I have had no resistance from Luke to going to school. Maybe he was just bored in preschool. 

I'm a little worried about Max, but not worried about the school, if that makes any sense. I would be worried for him in any school. This school does seem to really give a good solid effort though. He came home yesterday with a list of spelling words--probably a test--and only one out of the 15 were right. His phonics is great, as you could see how he sounded out each word, but they were all wrong. 

We did a little geography homework yesterday and he colored in some countries on a map; he didn't seem to understand what the map signified, which were countries. Instead every time colored another country according to the color code, he would ask "Is this the lava?" When I told him it was a country he would ask what a country is. So I would tell him and we would color another country and he asked if we were now coloring in the water. Again I told him, no, it's a country, and he again would ask what a country was. This continued on during the entire homework session. It made me wonder how much is sinking through during class. 

For Math, he had 4 pages of simple adding and subtraction. He did pretty good on that except on the last page he accidentally added instead of subtracted. He practically had a melt-down over that. I had him take a half hour break and then do it over later. The last thing we had to do was spelling; the teacher wanted everyone to write each of the 15 words 3 times, and then use each word in a sentence. It was just too much for Max; he was crying from the stress of it all and the stress of a long day. I emailed his teacher explaining what happened and asked if I could cut his spelling down to just writing out the words 3 times; she emailed back and said to do what we could and that his homework would need to be modified to his needs. So I'm worried a little about Max and how much he's really learning at school because he is almost always overwhelmed, but I am not worried about school because he seems to have people who truly want to help him.

It's only the end of week 2. We knew it was going to be hard and it is, but I'm really pulling for Max--and all the kids--to have a great year!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Great Gas Mishap Story

Today we had another embarrassing misadventure, this time at the gas station. Thankfully no one got hurt. Interested yet?

While Max was doing his therapy and Luke had already finished his, I decided to fill up at the gas station. Luke asked if he could "help" pump gas, I made the mistake of saying yes. Now before you jump down my throat, I did not actually let him pump the gas, I just let him stand beside me as I was pumping the gas. My mistake was saying "yes" that he could help.

I had put the pump into the gas tank and locked it in the "on" position, but kept my hand on the pump. I had turned for one second to keep an eye on the price when Luke decided to take the pump out of the car--with the gas pump still latched in the "on" position. So when he took the gas pump out, it was still pumping gas--all over us. It got Luke more than me, as he still had the handle in his hands. I was trying to wrestle it away from him yelling, "Let it go!" but I think he was so surprised by all the gas pouring all over us that he was frozen.

I finally did get the pump away from him--it was only about 3-4 seconds of extra gas, but imagine somebody pouring gas on you for 3-4 seconds. Once I finally got it shut off, there was a moment or two of stunned silence as we surveyed the mess of gas all over us and the ground. Then Luke began to plead, "I'm sorry Mama!" Well I couldn't get mad at him for something that was my own fault. I was mostly just worried about the gas being all over him though. For me, it got me just on the shoes (soaked them good) but Luke was literally covered from the chest all the way down. Thankfully it didn't get him in the face, eyes or mouth. I'm convinced his guardian angel put some sort of shield over his face at the time. Anyway, I ordered Luke to get in the car and immediately strip down. For once, he didn't argue.

I had a hard time just getting him in the car--our shoes were so soaked with gas that we slipping all over. I saw him trying to climb into the van but his shoes kept slipping, so then he would try to crawl in, but he would slip again because his pants were so soaked. Yeah. That's how gas-soaked he was.

I paid for the gas (and the wasted gas that should have been in my gas tank), and slipped all the way back to the car. I saw that Luke had stripped down to his underwear like he was told--but actually he had taken his underwear off too, so he was actually completely naked. I didn't know what else to do but go pick up Max as planned. The tires had also been splashed with gas and so they were slippery too.

When I got to The Therapy Place, I walked in and stood in the waiting room (not daring to sit down in case I got the chairs smelly) and as I was relaying everything that happened to Dennis on the phone, I decided maybe I should wait outside since I could smell the gas from my shoes. As I was outside, the maintenance guy came out and said, "I think your car is leaking gas--we can smell it all the way inside."
"No, that's just me" I smiled at him, then to Dennis on the phone I said, "I told you it was bad!"

What the real problem was, (other than being smothered by gas fumes and layered in gas) was that I was supposed to drop off the boys at school right after therapy--and Luke was wearing his school uniform which was now ruined. They arrive pretty late as it is, and I knew I couldn't send Luke to school without first giving him a bath. The other problem was that he only had one pair of uniform pants. That's another long story by itself which I won't get into right now. But ironically, my plan after dropping off the boys at school was to go to Wal-Mart to pick up more navy blue pants for them. If only I had done it sooner! So basically, I had nothing to send Luke to school in and we didn't want him to miss school so early into the year based on a uniform crisis. But what can you do, right?

Anyway, as we were hashing what-do-we-do-now on the phone, I decided I better let the receptionist know that I would be waiting for Max outside since I was stinking up their waiting room. As I was inquiring them about what time he would be out, the receptionist sniffed the air and asked me, "Do you smell gas?" By the way, I should also add that the receptionist has one of those glass windows separating her from the customers who are too loud and gas laden. And yes, she could smell me even through her glass and the window was closed.

I explained the situation to her, and I admit, it probably sounds worse than what it really was. The words "Five year old is covered in gasoline" doesn't sit right with people. But I've been surprised over people's panicked reaction as they ask if he's okay. I always feel like I have to add that yes, he has some gasoline on him but that, no, he is not on fire.

After assuring her that he was fine, I told her that we would be waiting in the car and if Max's therapist could walk him out, that would be great. I had  my door open with the windows open and the heat on high for Luke, and of course, it had to start raining. Of course.

Max's therapist walked Max outside and Max got into the car, excited over his glurch  that they made in therapy, so he didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. Like the fact that all the windows were open even though it was pouring rain outside. Or that the car had a nauseating smell of gas about it. Or that Luke was naked.

And even though I had apologized to Max for the gassy smell and Luke had explained in his own child-like way of what happened (with lots of arm gestures to create drama for the gas pouring all over him with lots of sound effects), Max still didn't seem to notice that Luke was naked. In fact, it wasn't until we were on the freeway home that Max finally asked, "Why is Luke naked?"

I drove carefully home,  paranoid of anything flammable around us, and I did a wild lurch as some guy threw his cigarette out the window--aimed at us of course. All I could think of were those scary stories that Andy would tell us of people who would spontaneously combust from inhaling too much gasoline. I had said a prayer when I started the car for the first time at the gas station that we wouldn't blow up, and I continued to pray all the way home.

We got home safely, wrapped Luke in a towel and brought him inside where he happily played in the tub. Happily, because we decided that with no school uniform, that he couldn't go to school since it's strictly against the rules to arrive with no uniform--even in weird and strange situations as this. I had to scrub, scrub, scrub to get that gas smell out of his skin, and he still has a faint whiff of it.

Lesson learned. I will never, never, never, NEVER! let any child near a gas pump again. Especially one who is as curious as Luke.






Sunday, September 9, 2012

Proof


It's not the best picture. The house is a mess, there's a potty in the picture (in the very front of the picture--the big pink thing), and there's a glare in the picture...but the kids are playing together! This is proof that our kids do play with toys once in a while. They're all together playing with Legos. Well, Henry is playing with junk mail, but still.

Proof it can happen! I will have to look back at this picture often, to remind myself that it does happen once in a while.



Good-bye!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Grandparents Day

In Luke's class, they are celebrating Grandparents Day on the 14th, and Luke, as well as the other kids, get to invite Grandma and Grandpa to school with them.

While this is a cute idea (the old with the young always makes people smile), I can't help but wonder if this is setting these poor 5 and 6 year olds up for disappointment. Because, of all the generations to invite to school, they (the school) chooses the generation that is least likely to make it, and for the following reasons:

a) They are dead.

b.) They can no longer drive.

c.) They are in a NURSING HOME!!!

d.) They can't remember where they were supposed to go??

e.) They live in Florida.

f.) They are just too old and tired.


Luke is lucky, because Grandma is:

a.) Still alive.

b.) Still drives like a taxi driver.

c.) Lives at home and is very independent

d.) Has a good memory
 
e.) Does not live in Florida

f)  tired but not too old.

I just hope that the little kids who have no grandparents coming don't feel left out. If the school wants to invite family, they should have "Family Day"; that way, whoever can make it can make it, and the people that can't, won't be missed. (No offense.)

I don't know, that's just my opinion.




Thursday, September 6, 2012

School Update

This week has gone pretty well with getting into a new routine. The only thing I don't like is that every day that I have dropped the kids off at school (and walked them in), I look like I just rolled out of bed, which is basically true. I try to leave time for getting myself looking somewhat decent, but what with making lunches and getting the kids dressed,  fed and out the door on time, there's just no time for getting myself ready. I suppose I could get up earlier but lately I feel like I'm dragging as it is. So I go and bring the kids and it just feels like everyone is staring at me and thinking, "What a slob!" I'm sure some of this is in my head but at the same time, I do look like a slob. I don't really care if I look good, I just don't want to look sloppy.

Lately, I've been feeling pretty wiped out and I need to lay down every day for a while. I'm not sure why this is, it could be just the new routine, or because I'm still trying to catch up on losing sleep while Dennis was gone, but it's bothering me enough to make an appointment with the doctor to make sure everything's good with the heart. I figure it's a good time since our deductible is met.

The kids seem to be doing well with getting used to long days at school, although Max complains every day that it's too long. He really struggles especially in math; he told me today that he had to do a math test (not sure it's really a test but I think he considers anything hard to be a test), and that he didn't know any of the math on it. He complained, "All it had was just a bunch of words!" I'm pretty sure it was story problems (I hated those), and he's done them before but normally we would sit and do them with him. Anyway, he really struggled with that, but then one of the teachers took him out of the class where he was able to do the math one-on-one with one of the special ed teachers. He told me, "And then this beautiful lady who was so, so, SO NICE to me helped me!" And yes, he did say beautiful lady.

He received a little sticker that said "Good Job" on it and but lost it outside. He was pretty mad about this and even got a little emotional. He said, "I liked it so much because it said 'good job' and I worked so hard to do a good job!" I told him that there would be many more opportunities to earn more stickers in the future, but I get what he's talking about.

Luke's favorite time of the day is nap time. Not that he naps, but he likes to pull out his nap mat and lay down. The teacher has learned to give Luke some fidget toys and this is why he likes this time so much. Lucy just seems to like school all around; I don't really hear anything specific that she likes but she talks a lot about Spanish and the songs that they sing.

On a completely different subject, I've been playing with the idea of going back to work part time. I don't know where I could go because I'm not sure I could do nursing assisting. The fact that I'm so easily worn out lately also makes me wonder if I can do a "real" job. At the same time, it's difficult feeling like your mooching off of everyone all the time and not doing anything. So at this point, I'm not sure what's going to happen but it's something I'm trying to discern. I know that Dennis needs help with the bills though, which reminds me Mom, I forgot to give you rent again. Remind me and I'll get it to you.

I have thought about branching out on my rosaries with my Etsy shop though. I'll still do my clay rosaries but there's going to be a section in my store for wire wrapped rosaries too. Lately I'm really interested in wire wrapping and if I could somehow incorporate that in my rosaries, hopefully that will increase sales. My hope continues to be that some day Etsy can be my part time job, but so far, it's just paying enough to keep it running.

Well, that's it with the news around here; I just got another order (thankfully sales are picking up a little), so I should get at it!



Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The First Day of School







Today was the first day of school, and it went pretty well!


We arrived bright and early. I had asked Max's teacher if we could come a little bit earlier to get him settled into his class before all the other kids came. Apparently, all the other parents had the same idea!

When we arrive, we're supposed to just get in the "car line" and drop the kids off, but nobody paid any attention to this rule. "First Day of school" I guess is the one and only day when we're allowed to bend the rules a bit.

His teacher is in the backround wearing the white shirt.
I was so worried about Max that I forgot to worry a little about the other kids. Lucy was fine, but Luke was very quiet. Very un-Lukelike. He was nervous too, and I noticed he was lagging behind, so I took his hand and then he smiled and relaxed a little. And amazingly, after school, I asked Luke how he liked it and he said, "I like it!" Again--very un-Luke-like! He didn't like school at all last year so I figured he wouldn't like it this year since it's so much longer. But he surprised me!

This is just a hint of Lucy's nervousness before school. She was the most excited to go of all three. She loved school too, but I figured that she would!


We didn't get to get a picture of Max, as the teacher had whisked him away inside right away, but Dennis surprised me. He sneeked in the room and took a quick picture. Now if I had done that, I never would've heard the end of it!



The day was spent very peacefully. I finally got a break away from the kids for the first time in 5 days. My morning was spent at the gym watching The Price is Right! and then going to Adoration, where I prayed a rosary for the kids.

I felt very peaceful all day. I thought I would have spent the day waiting anxiously for school to end so I could see if Max was okay. But I've been working hard on taking on the "spirit of trust" and as long as I do that, things seem to turn out just fine.

When we went to pick up the kids, this time the adults were made to do the "car line". It was a disaster, not at all smooth like the teachers had said it was. Ideally, you're supposed to just drive up to the school in a line with the sign of your last name on your car and your child is delivered to you like a value meal at McDonalds. But we waited in that line for 25 minutes, not moving. Henry did not like this one bit.

The infamous "car line".
Some of the parents who thought they would get away with retrieving their children by sneaking into the school (but got chased out) had parked their cars in the parking lot, which they were not supposed to do. This did not agree with the car line. It meant letting people in the line as people had to back in and out of their parking space and "butt" ahead of you, thus making the car line longer!

I asked Dennis, "Didn't they read the hand-out on the car line? Didn't they go to the meeting with the one thousand questions about the car line? Didn't they read the email that was sent out the night before about the car line???" Okay, so it irked me. But I hadn't eaten since breakfast, and me and Henry were hungry.

The other reason why it took so long was that one of the buses was missing a student. You can't see the buses in the picture, but they were at the head of the car line and if the buses don't move, then the car line doesn't move. We watched the teachers scurrying back and forth from the bus to the school, calling out to one another, checking their clip boards with student names on it, and practical Dennis observed, "They need walkie-talkies."

Finally, we were able to retrieve our children. They looked tired and happy, and Max came in the car saying, "That school is too long!"

Why is that math so long???


The important thing is that we have the first day behind us. And now starts another school year...

Monday, September 3, 2012

Last Day of Summer Vacation

Today's the last day of summer vacation, and while everyone else is "livin'n it up" and enjoying their last day off, I'm scurrying around with last minute things to do before school tomorrow. My list looks something like this:

  • Take Lucy's skirt in--that is, attempt to hem it in as it's way too big for her, even though it's a size 6. 
  • If all goes well with skirt #1, then do it again with skirt #2.
  • Remember to pack lunches! I've never had to do this yet, and I'm afraid I'll forget.
  • Make sure all uniforms are set and ready to go tomorrow!
  • Get all backpacks and last minute school supplies (plus unfinished paperwork) signed, packed and ready to go.
  • Buy those dumb headphones for computer class! We haven't yet gotten around to it.
  • Buy Luke new shoes because he broke the strap on his crocks.
  • Make xerox copies of our "Arganbright" sign that we have to staple on our car visor, so that teachers will know who our kids are and where to go for the car line up and drop off.
  • Bring kids to swim class--if they're open for Labor Day. Haven't checked yet.
  • Work on rosary orders that suddenly came out of nowhere and everything has to be shipped off by tomorrow.
And last but not least: Pick up Dennis from the airport! He's coming home today! Yay!

We did it, survived five days without killing each other. Mom helped a lot by coming just about every day to give me a little break. Henry was a good baby and didn't wake up too often during the night, and the kids were pretty good and were entertained by neighbor kids all weekend. For the most part, all went well.

Now comes the hard part, which is waiting for school to start. Sometimes when you're nervous, waiting is the hardest part. Max is very nervous and I'm getting tired of putting on a smile for him because deep inside I'm nervous too. I'm also tired of trying to console him when he seems to inconsolable, that none of my words seem to put him at ease. We've talked about everything he's worried about and rationalized about them, talked about how they are "little things" but "little things" always seem like they're "big things" when you're afraid. Mostly, I just wish I could somehow infuse confidence in him. Hearing him talk of all his fears just show his lack of self esteem and I feel so helpless in this. I can build him up with words all I want but my words are just words.

At the same time, I'm also feeling strangely comforted, that God's will is in this. In the beginning, I wasn't so sure, I was praying and wondering, how do we know this is the right thing for Max? But as time has gone on, I'm feeling more and more positive about school, more excited for him to go. It's going to be hard for him in the beginning, but I think that going to school with other kids, doing normal things like other kids do, is going to help him in his self-esteem. He won't know that there's really nothing to be afraid of until he goes out there and sees for himself. But if we continue to keep him home just for the sake of comforting his fears, then the world will remain a large and scary place for him.

So we will have to find out how this school goes, this Cologne Academy! Gotta get things done!