Max is not doing well at school at all. I don't want to be negative, but I'm pretty disappointed lately how things are going. We worked really hard on his spelling test all last week and he had it down--at home we were doing spelling games, and writing the words out 3 times each and he had them all right. But the next day when he took the test, he got all but one wrong. I was so disappointed. Not in him, but just disappointed that school doesn't seem to be going well.
Every paper he brings home is filled with red pen marks. His geography test he got 4/15. I was thinking, why do teachers have to go and put numbers on the papers like that? I remember getting my grade and it would always be a big--LARGE--"D" in red ink. It was so embarrassing.
I got his IEP form today. I was ready to sign with all the goals except for one. It was in the social category saying how when Max is stuck, he will just sit at his desk and wait for someone to notice he needs help. Or that he doesn't initiate any conversation. One paragraph in particular was, "Max spends much time observing others. Most of the time he has a worried and confused look on his face." This pains my heart, and anger comes in. I don't know why I get angry, but it comes and I feel like taking it out on the teachers. I know its' not their fault; it's really no ones fault. I haven't really figured out the angry part yet, but its there.
Anyway, the goal is: "Max will initiate conversation with peers, by responding to their questions and greeting them. Max will indicate when he needs help" and so on. Well, this all sounds great, but there was no plan as to how to get him to do this. His kindergarten teachers had the same goal but were unable to get Max to do these things on his own. This is why I didn't sign the papers. I would like a realistic goal first. I'm a thorn in these teachers side, I know.
It's only been a month, but I'm watching Max slowly slide backwards, both socially and academically. His teacher modified his spelling list again--before she cut down the spelling list from 15 words to only 5, and this was only for Max. Now she's keeping the same 5 but made the words simpler. They're about a first grade level: pig, big, lot, ect. I felt insulted for Max. I thought, "He can do better than this!" I guess I understand they're just trying to get a baseline for Max to start with, and I'm sure they'll increase the difficulty from there. It's just so hard to watch him sink like this. I need patience! This is going to be the longest year ever!!
On other more positive news, today was pajama day at school. Even Max wore pajamas. I bought him new pajamas because he wanted to wear the one piece pajamas with feet on them, and I think most kids his age are done wearing those. So I bought him some news ones, which he needed anyway. The kids had fun.
I think I finally figured out why I've been having weak spells lately. They come on rather suddenly and force me to lie down, wherever I happen to be. They usually last an hour, with my heart at a somewhat fast pace. The answer is so simple and yet it never occurred to me that this could be it--coffee! The reason why it never occurred to me that it could be caffeine is because caffeine has never bothered me before, even when I was pregnant and tired and out of breath all the time anyway. I guess people can develop a sensitivity to it though.
Anyway, it only occurred to me because one day, as I was laying in bed during another weak spell, I was thinking to myself, "How ironic it is that I feel so out of breath and tired and yet I just had some coffee to give me energy." And then I thought, "Hmmmm..."
So I gave up coffee for a day, felt a little sluggish, but had no weak spells. The next day, I had coffee and had a weak spell. The next day (today) I had coffee but this time, decaf, and I had no weak spell. So problem solved, I think. I'm just sad that my little pick-me-up no longer works.
I'm still going to the doctor though to have things with my heart checked, simply because it's that time of year when I'm supposed to go in. I still get tired more easily than I would like but I'm relieved that the weak spells are gone. I admit, I was a little worried at first. Heart attacks can make you paranoid, no matter how many years go by it seems.
Well, I guess that's it. Keep Max in your prayers, he really could use them!
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