Last Day of Summer Vacation

Today's the last day of summer vacation, and while everyone else is "livin'n it up" and enjoying their last day off, I'm scurrying around with last minute things to do before school tomorrow. My list looks something like this:

• Take Lucy's skirt in--that is, attempt to hem it in as it's way too big for her, even though it's a size 6. 
• If all goes well with skirt #1, then do it again with skirt #2.
• Remember to pack lunches! I've never had to do this yet, and I'm afraid I'll forget.
• Make sure all uniforms are set and ready to go tomorrow!
• Get all backpacks and last minute school supplies (plus unfinished paperwork) signed, packed and ready to go.
• Buy those dumb headphones for computer class! We haven't yet gotten around to it.
• Buy Luke new shoes because he broke the strap on his crocks.
• Make xerox copies of our "Arganbright" sign that we have to staple on our car visor, so that teachers will know who our kids are and where to go for the car line up and drop off.
• Bring kids to swim class--if they're open for Labor Day. Haven't checked yet.
• Work on rosary orders that suddenly came out of nowhere and everything has to be shipped off by tomorrow.

And last but not least: Pick up Dennis from the airport! He's coming home today! Yay!

We did it, survived five days without killing each other. Mom helped a lot by coming just about every day to give me a little break. Henry was a good baby and didn't wake up too often during the night, and the kids were pretty good and were entertained by neighbor kids all weekend. For the most part, all went well.

Now comes the hard part, which is waiting for school to start. Sometimes when you're nervous, waiting is the hardest part. Max is very nervous and I'm getting tired of putting on a smile for him because deep inside I'm nervous too. I'm also tired of trying to console him when he seems to inconsolable, that none of my words seem to put him at ease. We've talked about everything he's worried about and rationalized about them, talked about how they are "little things" but "little things" always seem like they're "big things" when you're afraid. Mostly, I just wish I could somehow infuse confidence in him. Hearing him talk of all his fears just show his lack of self esteem and I feel so helpless in this. I can build him up with words all I want but my words are just words.

At the same time, I'm also feeling strangely comforted, that God's will is in this. In the beginning, I wasn't so sure, I was praying and wondering, how do we know this is the right thing for Max? But as time has gone on, I'm feeling more and more positive about school, more excited for him to go. It's going to be hard for him in the beginning, but I think that going to school with other kids, doing normal things like other kids do, is going to help him in his self-esteem. He won't know that there's really nothing to be afraid of until he goes out there and sees for himself. But if we continue to keep him home just for the sake of comforting his fears, then the world will remain a large and scary place for him.

So we will have to find out how this school goes, this Cologne Academy! Gotta get things done!