You ever have "one of those day"? Or else there is a period in your life of a series "those" days? The days that test your faith, test your strength? Nothing seems to go your way, you never can get "ahead", everybody is gone or busy when you're at your loneliest?
That's how it's been for me lately. Ever since the heart attack, we've been struggling with money, not able to get ahead. We keep having set-backs. I need a job, or else, my Etsy needs to become my new "real" job. Spiritual dryness has been my new cross in life and that's what I'm talking about with the loneliness. I look for spiritual consolation and find none. I've even asked our parish priest if he would ever consider doing a later morning mass so that I, and many other moms out there who are busy trying to get their kids ready for school in the morning, can go to daily mass again. His answer was that that it might be too big of a change for those who already go to mass. Hmmm...I suppose it is a big change, but it means they can sleep in in the mornings, have a leisurely breakfast, and then still make it to Mass. Sounds like a win-win situation!
Sales have been slow. I have been wondering if I should even keep the Etsy website going...
But wait! This post isn't a feel-sorry-for-me post. There is a moral to the story. :-) (You know how I like to tie those in..)
A few days before things peaked to their very worst, I had just finished praying for some help in all the areas I've mentioned, and especially help with money. Then I opened the bible and the first thing I see is the first book of Job. I don't normally read from the Old Testament, because I don't really understand it. But my eyes fell on the title: "Job's Wealth and Piety". Ooh! This sounded like a story I could use!
So I won't copy down the entire story, as it's too long. Mostly I will paraphrase, but I'll copy down a few chapters that I feel are important:
The story starts out saying how Job is an upright man, very holy and faithful to God. He's very wealthy, his family is large and healthy, and to thank God for his gifts, Job would often give feasts and invite his entire family to the feast, and then end the feast by sacrificing and animal. He did this on a regular basis, and God was pleased with his faithfulness.
Then one day, God sees Satan roaming about the world and patrolling it and God says to him, "Have you noticed my servant Job, and that there is no one on the earth like him, blameless and upright, fearing God and avoiding evil?"
And Satan says, "Have you not surrounded him and his family and all that he has with your protection? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his livestock are spread over the land. But now put forth your hand and touch anything that he has, and surely he will blaspheme you to your face." And the Lord says to Satan,"Behold, all that he has is in your power; only do not lay a hand upon his person." (Job 1, 7-12)
So then all these bad things started happening to Job. All of his oxen were slaughtered by enemies, lightening struck his sheep and the shepherds decided to just eat them, the camels he had were stolen and killed, his children were carried off in a desert storm and killed, and his house was demolished. So Job tore at his clothing and cast himself prostrate on the ground and cried out, "Naked I came forth from my mother's womb; and naked shall I go back again. The Lord gave and the lord has taken away; blessed be the Name of the Lord!" (Job 1, 21-22)
So then God again speaks to Satan and points out that among the trials Job went through, he still did not blaspheme against God or lose his faith. And Satan says, "Skin for skin! All that a man has will he give for his life. But now put forth your hand and touch his bone and flesh, and surely he will blaspheme you to your face." And the Lord said to Satan, "He is in your power, only spare his life." (Job 2, 3-7)
So then poor Job goes through a great peril of suffering. God allows Job to be covered in severe boils from his head to his feet. He takes a potsherd and tries to scrape the boils off, which surely causes even more suffering. He then sits among the ashes of his home. And his very unwise wife says, "Are you still holding to your innocence? Curse God and die." And Job responds, "Are even you going to speak as senseless women do? We accept good things from God; and should we not accept evil?"
Through this, Job said nothing sinful. (Job 2, 9-11)
So this is what I came away with. Things have been hard, but Job had it much, much, worse.
I also came away with this: God treats His servants harshly; the more He gives you, the more He will ask of you. The more you ask to be more like Him, the more He will put you on the cross. The more you desire holiness, the more faults and weaknesses you will see of yourself. But if He does all this to you, it must be because He trusts you. If you suffer a lot, then it must be because He counts you as one of His friends.
There's always a temptation to doubt God, especially when our comfortable life suddenly takes a turn for the worse: a job is lost, or our health is suddenly gone and so on. But as Job says, "The Lord gives and the Lord can take away, blessed be the Name of the Lord." Anything that comes and goes in our lives happens for a reason; God gives what's good for us and takes away what we don't need; this life isn't about comfort, this life is a test of faith and in Heaven, we'll finally have our comfort!
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