A little bit better

So after my last post, in which I vented some frustrations, a few things got worked out. I'm very thankful, because even though some of these concerns and worries I had might seem to be little things--and maybe in reality they are just little things--to me, it was big concerns.

So after I wrote my last post, I went to adoration to do some praying about my problems rather than venting. I prayed about all my concerns about school, my worries for Max and his first time back to school in a few years, my frustration that nothing was working with trying to get school and therapy to work together, and other things. I tried to concentrate on putting this all on the Lord and leaving it there, as I had no solution to any problem. However, being the control freak that I am, my mind had a hard time focusing on prayer and kept trying to find a solution for Max to go to school and still be able to keep therapy too. The conflict about this was that with both Fasier and OT (two different therapies at different times and locations) I knew we couldnt' pull Max out of school twice in one week, as that would be missing too much school. So I was forced to choose a therapy.

I did my best to trust in God, but when I went home, I still felt upset about everything. There was just too much going on in one week, and I felt dizzy and overwhelmed with it all. However, when I got home, I checked my email and found a message from Max's therapist at The Therapy Place saying that they found a spot for Max on Wednesdays--the same day that he goes to therapy at Frasier! So this meant that I did not have to give up a therapy afterall, and that he would only be pulled out of school one time during the week! What a huge relief! I felt very humbled as I remembered my time in adoration, stewing over my situation and trying to figure out a solution, and here the Lord fixed it all for me.

My second issue was that I was not able to get a time scheduled for Lucy's pre-conference. Though I'm not as concerned for her in school (actually, not concerned at all. She loves school and makes friends easily), I still wanted her to be able to meet her teacher and see her classroom so that she didn't feel like everything was unfamiliar the first day. The parents that bring their kids to school are only allowed to drop them off--they cant' go into the school with them, unless there's a very good reason. It's just meant to prevent clogging the halls with parents and adding to the confusion and chaos of kids trying to get to their classrooms. Anyway, when I called, all the time slots had been taken. They are only doing one day for conferences, so there was very little flexibility. The receptionist suggested I try to get Lucy in on Wednesday (which was yesterday) even though it was a day early for conferences, but the teacher never called me back. So basically chance to get Lucy in for a conference was gone.

I prayed again about it and put it in God's hands--I am trying to practice trust here, can you tell how hard this is for me? It's one thing to trust God with things you know are well out of your control, like surgery or something, but for me, trusting Him with the little things that I want to go my way, or the way I think it should go, is harder for me. It's hard for me to have to consider that perhaps I won't get my way afterall in this IEP meeting, or that I won't get Lucy in for a conference and she will just have to cope as best she can on her first day. But I know that when we pray for something, we always have to open to what God wants too--and sometimes it isn't what we want.

But still, I prayed about it anyway, trying to make the practice of bringing all things to God. Then I called one more time to see if there were any times at the end of the day that nobody wanted--like a 5:00 or something. And what do you know--the original time that I had wanted but had been taken by somebody else was suddenly free again. I had wanted the 11:00 conference since this was the closest time to Max and Luke's meeting and I knew that Mom could baby-sit the kids for me. But when I had tried to call back to get the time scheduled, both my phone and Dennis's phones had broke and he had to bring them in to get fixed. We didn't get our phones back until the end of the day, and so when I had tried to call the next day, not only was the 11:00 time taken, but all the time slots in the day as well. So I was extremely happy and surprised to find out that someone had decided to cancel their 11:00--my preferred time--and this meant that I could get "my way" after all!

So I had things are going a little bit better, but really they're going a lot better. All the meetings went well, mom and Laura (our social worker) did not have to fight traffic and were able to get here on time which meant we got to leave on time. I was able to leave the kids without anyone crying for me, and Henry did not have stranger anxiety with our baby-sitter--our first baby-sitter besides Mom, that is. The teachers and special ed teachers were very helpful and interested in all of my concerns and were able to set my fears (for the most part) to rest. Max got to talk a little bit about his worries, and his teacher was so nice to him. She didn't brush off his worries or do the super-cheerful "Oh, don't worry, we'll have a GREAT time!" thing. She talked to him very gently about things would be fine and that the teachers were going to help him with everything he needed. I have to say, they earned some points in the "trust box" for me.

Dennis has left for his wedding (ha,ha, that sounds funny doesn't it?) and I'm prepared for the most part, to get ready for school by myself. For now it's just crossing the i's and t's on the to-do list and mentally preparing myself and the kids for a new schedule.

Keep us in your prayers, and please especially remember Max for next week and the weeks to come. We can pave the road as best we can for him, but it's still going to be an adjustment, and he's very nervous about it. I prayed to Dad last night, whom I consider to be Max's prayer warrior, reminding him and pleading that he must remember his promise--that he would pray for Max. And I believe he listened.

Putting Max--and all the kids--into God's hands now....Jesus we trust in You!